btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
