you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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