I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
