Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
