Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
