No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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