I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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