come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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