I feel great
I just peed on a car
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
