walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
