i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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