Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i think i have two assholes
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
