i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
