I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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