yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
