Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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