No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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