This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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