It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
