Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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