I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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