My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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