so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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