just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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