She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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