I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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