There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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