we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
