You work out of a Hotel?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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