he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize