I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
