he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
