Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
