found the other keg... it's in the tree
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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