You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Green mimosas i think yes
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
