At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
