who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
