I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
50% drunk capacity currently
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
