pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
