I need help removing her.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
