What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
