and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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