I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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