ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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