no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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