Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Randomize
