I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
