Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
