So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
