i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
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