you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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