you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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