You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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