Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
