I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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