nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
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We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
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I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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